From JuJu with Love

Suspect: Maizey

Breed: Doodle with suspiciously innocent face

Residence: Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

Known accomplice: Juju (claims to be unwilling)

Incident #1 – The Salmon Heist

One evening an innocent piece of salmon was resting peacefully on my kitchen table, waiting to become my dinner.

Maizey had other plans.

Within seconds she grabbed the salmon and took off running through the house while I chased after her laughing and screaming at the same time.

By the time I caught up with her, the evidence had completely disappeared.

Maizey enjoyed a lovely seafood dinner that night.

I did not.

Incident #2 – Kibble Confetti

Maizey does not simply eat dinner from her bowl like a normal dog.

Instead, she carries mouthfuls of kibble into whatever room I’m in and drops them on the carpet before eating them.

Apparently dinner requires an audience.

Incident #3 – Traffic-Induced Interpretive Dance

During our daily walks, Maizey behaves like a perfect lady… until a loud truck or motorcycle drives by.

At which point she spins in circles like a small furry tornado while I attempt to maintain dignity holding the leash.

Incident #4 — The Mystery Substance Incident

Just the other day Maizey ran into her friend Teddy while we were out on a walk. His human Sarah and I were standing there catching up while the dogs greeted each other with great excitement.

Lots of sniffing. Lots of jumping.

Very happy reunion.

Sarah and I kept talking for another minute when suddenly she started screaming:

“NO MAIZEY NO!!!”

I turned around just in time to see Maizey happily rolling around on the ground in something… questionable.

Very questionable.

Whatever it was, she was absolutely delighted.

The walk ended immediately.

We went straight home and directly into the bathtub.

Incident #5 – The Garbage Day Incident

One of Maizey’s more serious crimes happened on an otherwise normal walk around the neighborhood.

It was garbage day.

At some point during the walk she must have grabbed something from the curb and swallowed it before I even noticed. I never actually saw her eat it.

Several hours later she started acting distressed, and suddenly it was clear something was very wrong.

We ended up at the emergency vet.

After some very anxious hours, the doctors determined she had likely swallowed a corn cob — one of those things dogs think is a fantastic snack but that can cause a dangerous blockage.

Thankfully they were able to remove it using a scope instead of full surgery.

But let’s just say garbage day walks have never felt quite the same since.

Incident #6 – The Treat Accounting Department

Maizey has a very clear understanding of the household treat policies.

In the basement, she receives three small treats when we go downstairs.

Upstairs, she receives two.

If I accidentally give her the wrong number, she does not bark or complain.

Instead she simply sits and stares at me with a look that clearly says:

“Mom. You know the rules.”

Apparently Maizey is not only a doodle…

She is also the Chief Treat Accountant.

Incident #7 – The Sleep Thief

Maizey’s worst crime is something she has absolutely no control over.

Thunderstorms.

One night at 2:30 in the morning the first clap of thunder cracked over the house.

Maizey immediately jumped off the bed and stood next to me pawing at my face like the official household weather alert system.

So at 2:30 in the morning I got up, put her ThunderShirt on, and opened my closet so she could hide — one of the places she feels safest.

For the next hour she went back and forth between the bed and the closet, crying and looking for reassurance while the storm passed.

Eventually the thunder faded and she finally relaxed again.

She fell asleep.

Unfortunately… I didn’t.

Incident #8 — The “indestructible” Bed Massacre 

Recently I bought her a brand-new $45 Kong crate bed—supposedly designed for dogs who are tough on their belongings.

Maizey apparently interpreted “indestructible” as a personal challenge.

Within approximately 8.5 seconds, she had ripped it apart and scattered the evidence throughout her crate.

The peanut-butter Kong provided to keep her entertained remained untouched.

The Kong bed did not.

The suspect showed absolutely no remorse.

In spite of it all, or maybe because of it all, she’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

From Juju with love 💙🐾