From JuJu with Love

My heart still hurts. But I feel the love, and I am grateful for the laughter and friendships that have held me up this week.

It has been a scary, emotional week of worrying about Maizey, waiting for answers, and trying to keep my mind from racing ahead to places I don’t want to go. There have been tears. There have been moments when I was tired of talking about it, even though I knew people were calling because they cared.

And then there was laughter. So much laughter.

My friend Laurie came to visit from Texas, and her timing turned out to be just what my heart needed.

On Thursday, I picked her up at the airport, and we headed downtown to see Leanne Morgan at the Fox Theatre. For 90 minutes, we laughed. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that until I was sitting there doing it.

The worry was still waiting for me afterward. But those 90 minutes gave me a little room to breathe.

When we got home, Maizey decided the entertainment should continue.

Laurie had heard about my sled dog for years, but this was their first meeting. As Maizey did zoomies around her luggage, Laurie kept telling her, “I’ve wanted to meet you, and you have exceeded my expectations.”

Apparently, Maizey took that as an invitation to move into the guest room. She jumped into bed with Laurie and wouldn’t leave. We were laughing because my girl seemed perfectly willing to abandon our usual sleeping arrangements for a slumber party with our guest.

By morning, she was back cuddling with me while Laurie slept. I guess I hadn’t been replaced after all.

Friday brought Mahjong with Laurie, Rachel, and Bette, followed by dinner at Vicente’s Cuban Cuisine with Janet and Shoshana. Good food, good friends, and a table full of conversation. Exactly where I needed to be.

Then we walked to the Gem Theatre for The Jury Experience.

Of course, getting into the theater came with its own drama. After hours of trying to resolve ticket problems with GoTickets and Fever, I still didn’t have working tickets. Standing in line, we discovered other people were having problems, too.

Across the street stood the 36th District Court. I joked that we might end up over there because of our “fraudulent” tickets.

We had come downtown to serve on a fictional jury, and I was wondering whether we were about to become defendants ourselves.

Fortunately, the woman checking tickets took a picture of my confirmation email and let us in.

Once inside, we took our responsibilities seriously. Laurie, Janet, and Shoshana voted guilty. I voted not guilty. The audience came in at 51 percent guilty, and the defendant received a 20-year sentence.

Apparently, dinner was easier to agree on than a verdict.

On the way home, Laurie and I stopped at Meijer so she could buy long underwear, gloves, and wool socks for Saturday’s Michigan game.

The forecast was 54 degrees.

Her Texas blood was preparing for an Arctic expedition.

Saturday was a perfect day in my happy place.

We went to Ann Arbor early and wandered around campus. I showed Laurie the Union, the Diag, the president’s house, and the Law Quad. We watched the drum line and the band, then marched with them to the stadium.

I loved getting to share all of it with her.

She was impressed by the Big House, ate junk food, cheered at the top of her lungs, and learned the fight song. Michigan gave us a nail-biter against Penn State, but we left with a win on a beautiful, sunny homecoming day.

I’d say she got the full experience.

Through all these outings, there have also been quieter reminders of how much love surrounds us.

Allyson came on Thursday to care for Maizey and she texted on Friday to check on her, and on Saturday she came twice to care for her so Laurie and I could spend 12 hours in Ann Arbor. Knowing my girl was in loving hands helped me enjoy that day. I’m so grateful for the people showing up for me and loving my girl.

My cousins Lee and Jayne told me I wouldn’t be going to Maizey’s ultrasound alone. They were with me the day I picked her out at the breeder. All these years later, they are showing up for us again.

That means more than I can say.

When we got home from Ann Arbor, I was taking Maizey outside as my neighbor arrived home. He hugged her and told her how much he had missed her since he hadn’t seen her since before my Charleston and Savannah trip.

Watching other people love my girl has been its own kind of comfort this week.

And after the campus walk, the band, the cheering, and the Michigan win, the best part of my day was coming home and settling in with Maizey tucked against me, her head resting on my legs.

My hand on her side. My girl beside me.

I still don’t have the answers I want. I’m still scared.

But I have people who make me laugh, friends who share my happy places, and family who say, “You’re not going alone.”

This week, I have cried and laughed. I have worried and cheered. And I have felt loved through all of it.

A heavy heart. A grateful heart.

This week, mine has been both.

From Juju with love 💙